Tuesday, September 01, 2015
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Happy 4th Birthday Sawyer
I can't believe my little baby turned four. Honestly, it seems like an impossibility. Growing up is really hard. I can understand this truth so much more now that I am watching Sawyer grow up. So much is expected of him and it's hard for him as a little kid who is all kinds of selfish and angsty and frustrated and bored and excitable and hyper to learn and meet all these expectations all the time. Especially when "good behavior" doesn't come naturally to him.
Suddenly and unexpectedly he has moved from the realm of cute baby to (annoying) little boy. Before, his long diatribes about the stuff that fascinated him were cute, because, well, he was a little baby and just learning to talk. Now this same tendency to talk non-stop is annoying and frustrating to the people around him. While little Lyla can crawl and wriggle all over people to get their attention, if Sawyer attempts to do so he is met with stern rejection. If Lyla cries when we tell her "no" we are sympathetic, when Sawyer throws a fit when we deny his request, we punish him. We constantly remind him that he is "a big boy" and that he needs to behave like one, and so it is no wonder that he often laments that he doesn't want to grow up.
I get it, my little boy, growing up isn't the joy ride that you hope it will be. I'm ashamed to say that I wish I could keep you close and give you whatever you want all the time and be your favorite person forever and ever, but I love you too, too much for that. Although I like to call you mine, I know that you are your's and that one day you will be far away from me and more important than the empty space I will feel when you are not near, I want you to be able to make the choices that will best make you happy. So I will continue to tell you "no" and send you to your room and tell you to be better. I will continue to act mad and be stern and threaten to throw away your favorite toys.
I'm really sorry, because I know you don't really understand why it has to be this way. Why I can't say yes when you want more candy or when you want to jump off your bunk bed. Why I can't let you cross the street without holding my hand or why you have to go to bed instead of watching another show. Why hitting your sister is wrong, even when she takes your toys or screams at you. Why I tell you to be quiet and to wait until I finish my conversation before you can tell me the vital piece of information you just learned about volcanoes.
I know that you don't understand now. The reason is that I love you. I love, love, love you. It's a kind of love that I never imagined existed before you were born, but now that I have it, it is something that seems impossible to ever live without. You are essential to my existence. You are my little boy, my beautiful baby boy. I love you forever.
So...Happy 4th Birthday Sawyer!
Sawyer made very specific requests for his 4th birthday. He wanted a party, but with no friends, just "mama, daddy, and Lyla, but Lyla needs a baby sitter so there could be a mama-daddy-Sawsy date."
Sawyer's birthday list included:
1. Skeleton cake
2. Skeleton costume
3. Long-sleeve Avengers shirt
4. Long-sleeve Batman shirt
5. Scary monster robot
Jonathan and I, along with his grandparents, tried our best to deliver on each of these requests. Here's what his birthday looked like.
First as a pre-brithday party present, because I thought that he wouldn't really like it since he's got a thing for the macabre at the moment (vampires, ghosts, monsters, skeletons, etc), I gave Sawyer a quilt that I've been working on since just before he was born. That's right, the intention was that this was to be his baby blanket...four years later it's finally a birthday present!
Suddenly and unexpectedly he has moved from the realm of cute baby to (annoying) little boy. Before, his long diatribes about the stuff that fascinated him were cute, because, well, he was a little baby and just learning to talk. Now this same tendency to talk non-stop is annoying and frustrating to the people around him. While little Lyla can crawl and wriggle all over people to get their attention, if Sawyer attempts to do so he is met with stern rejection. If Lyla cries when we tell her "no" we are sympathetic, when Sawyer throws a fit when we deny his request, we punish him. We constantly remind him that he is "a big boy" and that he needs to behave like one, and so it is no wonder that he often laments that he doesn't want to grow up.
I get it, my little boy, growing up isn't the joy ride that you hope it will be. I'm ashamed to say that I wish I could keep you close and give you whatever you want all the time and be your favorite person forever and ever, but I love you too, too much for that. Although I like to call you mine, I know that you are your's and that one day you will be far away from me and more important than the empty space I will feel when you are not near, I want you to be able to make the choices that will best make you happy. So I will continue to tell you "no" and send you to your room and tell you to be better. I will continue to act mad and be stern and threaten to throw away your favorite toys.
I'm really sorry, because I know you don't really understand why it has to be this way. Why I can't say yes when you want more candy or when you want to jump off your bunk bed. Why I can't let you cross the street without holding my hand or why you have to go to bed instead of watching another show. Why hitting your sister is wrong, even when she takes your toys or screams at you. Why I tell you to be quiet and to wait until I finish my conversation before you can tell me the vital piece of information you just learned about volcanoes.
I know that you don't understand now. The reason is that I love you. I love, love, love you. It's a kind of love that I never imagined existed before you were born, but now that I have it, it is something that seems impossible to ever live without. You are essential to my existence. You are my little boy, my beautiful baby boy. I love you forever.
So...Happy 4th Birthday Sawyer!
Sawyer made very specific requests for his 4th birthday. He wanted a party, but with no friends, just "mama, daddy, and Lyla, but Lyla needs a baby sitter so there could be a mama-daddy-Sawsy date."
Sawyer's birthday list included:
1. Skeleton cake
2. Skeleton costume
3. Long-sleeve Avengers shirt
4. Long-sleeve Batman shirt
5. Scary monster robot
Jonathan and I, along with his grandparents, tried our best to deliver on each of these requests. Here's what his birthday looked like.
First as a pre-brithday party present, because I thought that he wouldn't really like it since he's got a thing for the macabre at the moment (vampires, ghosts, monsters, skeletons, etc), I gave Sawyer a quilt that I've been working on since just before he was born. That's right, the intention was that this was to be his baby blanket...four years later it's finally a birthday present!
Hooray! He actually liked it.
After nap time under his new turtle quilt came the real party!
Jack Skellington Cake. Somehow I pulled this off...
So, the most important gift was the skeleton costume. It was the thing he talked about nonstop for a month before his birthday. When we mentioned it to Jonathan's parents they quickly volunteered to make it be their birthday gift, because it was easily ordered from Amazon Japan. Yay! However, as Sawyer's birthday approached we learned that the package was stuck in customs and wouldn't arrive on time! Horror. I searched everywhere for a replacement with no luck, so...because I'm a sucker for happy birthdays I made him one instead. It was worth it though. Check out his face when he opened it:
However, when the one from Amazon finally arrived with realistic bones and a mask that covered his entire head, the costume I made was quickly relegated to the bottom of his pajama drawer.
Samurai Darth Vader? Yes, please.
Baymax! Thanks Grammy.
American candy! Thanks Granny and Grandad.
Not pictured here is an amazing Avengers long-sleeve shirt from Grandma and Grandpa! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa. I'll add a picture soon.
And as for the big scary robot monsters? Jonathan decided to introduce Sawyer to transformers.
And finally, for Sawyer's mama-daddy-Sawsy date, we took Sawyer to a Ninja restaurant where he went through ninja training and experienced amazing ninja magic over dinner. Hooray for another birthday in Japan!
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