Kagaya: Where Even a Frog Can Bang out Shakespeare...

Like I’ve mentioned before, Jillian did quite a bit a research before coming to Japan and it really paid off. She found the oddest places for us to visit. There was the Lockup (see post below) and the fabulous little hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant, which, oddly and disturbingly enough, used a subtle phallic theme as its interior décor. Strange as they may have been, they were also the most fun and many times the tastiest places we visited in Tokyo. Jillian’s final bit of research lead us to Mr. Mark Kagaya of the Kagaya Bar and Restaurant.

Jillian’s information said that the restaurant’s appeal is its use of Japanese humor and that the reader would just have to visit to know what that means. Like all people who enjoy a good laugh, we thought that we would check it out. The restaurant provided the following map for us.

We wondered if the map was an example of Japanese humor.

This is how Mr. Kagaya described his restaurant on his website:
"Introduction of "KAGAYA" No,1 KAGAYA is the bar. This place is amusing and amazing. This is a homey little bar. This have a relaxed atmosphere. There are about fifteen cherks. They come from many countries and areas !! No,2 Everyone play many games. This is exciting. No,3 The food is Japanese home cooking. Mainly they are vegetable foods. You will ce able to imagine about Japanese mothers. And it is nice taste. No,4 But it is hard to explain about KAGAYA. Please come and have an exprience."

Jonathan called the restaurant several times to make a reservation, get directions, and then change our reservations over the course of a couple of days. He became a bit anxious when he realized that each time he called the restaurant the same guy answered, talking in his charming “Engrish” and perhaps a little overly excited that we would be spending an evening at the restaurant. Jonathan suggested that Kagaya Bar and Restaurant was a one-man-show. “Pish-Posh” we said, blowing off Jonathan’s pessimism.

Outfitted with our map and the directions that Jillian’s information provided, we set out to find this basement restaurant marked by a little white sign with a rabbit, frog, and bear drawn on it. As we walked through what can only be described as a shady and run-down neighborhood, we encountered many stores, restaurants, and bars called “Kagaya.” It was so bizarre. Restaurants on opposite corners of the same block would share the name Kagaya, but they were also obviously different establishments. We figured that this must also be an example of Japanese humor.

Completely lost, Jonathan called the restaurant one last time. The same guy answered and offered to meet us back at the train station to escort us to Kagaya. We laughed. “See! If it was really a one-man-show, do you think that he could leave the restaurant?” Back at the train station we met up with a little Japanese man wearing a long flowery apron. He smiled and seemed to be in a hurry to get back to the restaurant as soon as possible. We raced after him for several blocks until we reached the little white sign we had been looking for.

Mr. Kagaya lead us down a flight of stairs and to a door which he unlocked and opened for us. On the other side was a small room with two Japanese style tables. We soon realized that Jonathan was right. Mr. Kagaya is the sole proprietor, waiter, chef, entertainer, and bus boy for Kagaya Bar and Restaurant, and he had closed his restaurant to pick us up at the train station. Now seated on our small square floor cushions, we would spend the next two hours immersed in the madness, hilarity, and delicious food of Mr. Mark Kagaya.

The dinner started off normally enough with the Japanese tradition of serving guests wet napkins to clean their hands. The only difference, however, is that while a waiter normally delivers the napkins, at Kagaya a little robot cartoon character wheeled them over to us on his head. Later, this robot cartoon talked to us and then flew over our heads, blimp-like. Mr. Kagaya rounded out the action with sound effects.

It was hilarious.

This small Japanese man had no shame. He danced, sang, and talked his way through the entire meal while we laughed in disbelief and genuine amusement.

Mr. Kagaya went on to act out the menu. The dramatic interpretation of each choice left us rolling on the floor. First of all Mr. Kagaya’s English is not great, but good enough that he can use it to his comedic advantage. When he came to the menu item that he obviously wanted us to pick, he would lick his lips and with great fervor he acted as if it gave him the greatest pleasure a human could experience. It was ridiculous and a little embarrassing. Our choices for food were small, medium, large, and extra large. We didn’t choose the food itself, but rather, how much or little we wanted. Drinks were served in trick glasses that either vibrated violently or belched depending on which one you were given. The vibrating made it almost impossible to drink, but it also made for some hearty laughs.

While we waited for our food, Mr. Kagaya performed two cultural dances for us. The first was a hyper and sporadic Brazilian performance filled with hip shakes and fluorescent clothing. The second was the modern dance interpretation of a “passionate” French painter who was finally able to paint the girl of his dreams, Jillian. The performances were outstanding. I almost peed my pants.

The food was finally served and it was really quite tasty. There were lots of vegetables, which I appreciated. Every once in a while Mr. Kagaya would bring out a game to play or a new piece of wardrobe to wear. The bathroom was booby trapped with singing lobsters and dragons that tripped on when you opened the toilet lid.

This was our water pitcher.

I obviously looked the best in the glasses.

The whole event was intimate, belly-achingly funny, and exhausting. When we were ready to leave, Mr. Kagaya gave us one last thing to remember him by, a Kermit the frog song and dance.

He started off singing with a puppet behind this poster.

Then he burst forth in this awesome frog costume.

He talked with this little Kermit that dance with him.

It was one of the strangest but most heart-warmingly hilarious experiences of my life. If you are ever in Tokyo please run to meet Mr. Mark Kagaya.

Yea, I don't really know what this sign means.