2 Months Down or the Tale of the Giant Baby

Sawyer is 2 months old now.  2 months.  It's unbelievable how fast two months have past.  I wish I could say that everything is back to normal for our family.  Although we are getting close to a equilibrium, we are still not exactly adjusted to our new lives together.  But that's ok.

Being a mom is the hardest thing I've ever done.  There have been many times in my life when I've gone through big changes, like graduating from high school or college or getting married or moving, etc, and with each impending change I've expected to feel different.  To feel like a different person. To feel that somehow the world has changed.  But, that never happened.  After graduating from school, I found the world to be exactly the same as it ever was.  I felt exactly the same.  Same with being married.  But having a kid...has changed my world...completely.

Yes, yes, colors are brighter.  My heart is full.  And a missing part of me, that I never knew was missing, has been found.  However, there are some harder, stranger, and more disturbing changes.  My ears are keen to the sounds of babies.  I hear Sawyer crying, even when he's not making a sound.   When I get dressed in the morning, my first thought is not, "What would be a cute outfit to wear today?," but rather, "What allows easiest access to my boobs."  And then there's the contradictory emotions:  I can't wait for him to take a nap, but once he's asleep I miss him and can't wait for him to wake up.  Or, I can't wait to get out of the house and do something on my own for a while, but once I'm out the door all I can think about is getting home to my baby.  And then there's the constant guilt.  I've read about it.  It's called "Mother's Guilt."  The constant feeling that you are not doing enough or that the frustration you feel means that you are a horrible, terrible person.  Ehh....

The physical changes...Even though I'm basically back to pre-pregnancy weight my body is changed.  It's saggy and soft.  Jonathan and I refer to my belly as "The Dough."  The Dough hangs over my pants when I sit down.  My belly button is a crater now.  And I'm not even going to address other "unmentionables."

But as hard as it is, being Sawyer's mom is also a lot of fun.  Sawyer is incredibly cute.  He loves me.  Sometimes he cries just so I will pick him up and cuddle.  I'm his favorite person in the world (hopefully) and it makes me happy that I can help him feel better when he's upset.   I also like that no matter where I go, I have someone to talk to.  I'm never alone, because my baby, Sawyer, is always with me.

But enough about me.  Let's talk about Sawyer:

First of all Sawyer is very big.  He is consistently measuring in the 97th percentile for height and weight.  But don't worry, he's not getting a big head about it--it's only measuring in the 75th percentile.  Right now he's weighing in at around 15 pounds.  He's been wearing size 3 months for a couple of weeks.  And he shows no signs of slowing down.  Jonathan is very proud.

Like most babies he's got some digestion problems.  He's been diagnosed with acid reflux.  And around 5 am he has a witching hour where he tries to push out the poop that has been waiting in the queue all night. Poor baby.  And Poor us.  It's no longer traumatic for any of us, but we never know whether we should just let him do his thing or pick him up and help him out. 

Sawyer has two kinds of cries: a pathetic wimper  and a "I-hate-you" scream.  The pathetic wimper is accompanied by the cutest little turned down bottom lip that you've ever seen. Jonathan calls it a sausage. It's like in a cartoon or something.  So sweet and pitiful.  However, the little boy's also got a temper.  When he's really upset, like, say, if you change his clothes a little too awkwardly, he thrashes his arms and legs smacking you in the face or where ever he can land a punch.  It's cute because he's raging mad, and, well, there's nothing he can do about it.  I'm sure the temper will become a problem a little later in his life, but right now, it makes us laugh.  He also has a clawing problem.  My sister calls him a Badger.

Sawyer seems to be more on the serious side, at least right now.  He spends a lot of time giving people and things the "evil eye" and then will either bust into an approving smile or yelp and growl until you take him away from it.  He is smiling more and more these days.  When he smiles his face looks completely different.  And I hate to admit it, but that little gummy grin make me love him more.

Sawyer also is a bit high-maintenance, surprise, surprise.  He's addicted to his pacifier.  This is convenient for me because it works as a plug to stop his protests.  But if I forget it...he will only gnaw on his fist for so long before he loses it.  He can't sleep without being swaddled, unless he's sleeping on me or Jon.  On the one hand it's great because when swaddled he sleeps for 6 hours straight, however, if he falls asleep on either Jon or me, before we can put him in his bed, we have to disrupt his sleep by swaddling him.  And swaddling has become a process.  Because he's so big, he's also incredibly strong and must be straight-jacketed in a contraption called "The Miracle Blanket" instead of a nice soft, cozy blankie. I've even gone so far as to do a double swaddling: a baby, inside a miracle blanket, inside a woombie.  Yes, I'm"that kind" of mom.  Oh, and did I mention the white noise machine?  Sawyer can not sleep without the soothing sounds of the womb playing ALL NIGHT LONG.  This means that Jonathan and I also have dreams of being in-utero or in deep space.

Sawyer's favorite toy is a musical panda bear  followed closely by a dangling cow thingy.  His favorite game is to knock the panda bear over.  I'll try to get a video of it at some point.

What else? Oh, he can put himself to sleep.  So, at nap time, I can just lay him in his bed and then leave the room and he falls asleep without being rocked...that's good.  He's rolled over a couple of times...I think these were mostly accidents.   Oh and he likes to chat with coo's and ahh's, which is incredibly adorable.

So there is my update. Hopefully it won't take me 2 months to update my blog again...especially since we have an exciting summer planned!